Leelene wrote:Hi again.
About me being teetotal. In sweden up to 90% of the people are drinking alcohol and even if you just go out in the bar people are more or less expecting you to drink. So if I tell them that I don't drink I usually get really really strange looking eyes on me. And then most people can start to act childish and tell me that I am not welcome in their company due to me drinking water or coke.
About the parenting licence. I think that you defenetly need some education to be able to be better parents. And I hope that this will help children growing up in families with trouble better. I also hope for someone to be a spookesman/woman for some families so that the children never get to be treated in another way then what is healty.
Let me take one example of a childhood. It is mine. My mother have been through a really tough childhood with probobly a real deep depression and hard time taking care of herself. My father is multi disabled and can get depressed too. So I've got a very bad situation from the start. If someone was there along the line to see me I think that my life crisis that I have been through so many years would have gone away faster and my university time would not be in danger now. Even if I now am going to try to stand on my own legs and help myself through the crisis.
Love Leelene
And maybe perhaps if someone was there to guide you and lend a hand,you may not have been so singleminded and independent,i never had a father figure for the majority of my life i do not know my real biological father and will probably never see him in my lifetime i was beaten up and bullied by my stepfather for most of my young childhood,does that mean that i will fail as a parent,because i didnt have that Father/son bond???and does that mean I'm so angry to have been robbed of my innocence of childhood to take my frustrations out on my son!!!!!
No it will make me more determined to succeed at giving my son the love and affection i so sorely missed,you can blame your past for your present afflictions or situation but that only builds up the depression and blows your self esteem,i find people who blame others for their lack of realism in life are only failures because they have no determination due to deep rooted fears given to them in childhoosd,i come from a broken home, i was bullied at school and beat up on many occasions by so called friends,i have been considered weird because of my musical tastes,but yet have succeeded in following my ambitions and studied to a higher education,i have very little in terms of relationships with my mother and stepfather nowadays,although i dont blame this on them,its more a sheer determination on my half to be independent.and the fact i cant repair the damage thats been done although i know how to,i have moved on and built my life on not letting it destroy mine,i dont want to repeat those patterns in my children
I could have blamed any failings on my life due to my past,but its total bullshit,you either learn and build from it and move on or you let it destroy you
If you have low self esteem its because your not looking onwards to find the cause,you are in control of your own life,no-one else you can read all the books and articles on how to make the changes but only you can do that,i found that studying Psychology and sociology helped me to overcome my fears so much so i past with a Degree,it was a sort of self help therapy that help build my confidence,once i understood the true underlinings of what shapes peoples feelings and how you can break the chains of family history it helped me deal with my own lack of confidence and bitterness
You can't blame your parents lack of upbringing on lack of education,because until your put in a situation you dont know how things will turn out,so educating your parents doesnt mean that you would have had a far better life,the only things you need is love,if that is not there then everything else is damaged,from then on.
I have friends who have children and spend most of the time in work,probably seeing their children for a couple of hours a week,they work all week long just to put the child into Nursery care,and wonder why the child shows no respect when they do come to spend time with them,a child needs to know thats its loved from the onset,Love and affection cannot be replaced by someone elses care..
Society has turned out many lost and bewildered children who inevitably turn out to be depressed and seek attention as they grow ,many turn out to become evil people,respect has gone and no-one cares for anyone anymore,contempt is bred from and ealry age and is deeprooted until death,unless the person confronts it in later years
Its absolutely pathetic when these people blame there actions on a poor upbringing,its a total joke,anyone can be excused from crime as long as your claim a jagged background its total shit.
I know a guy who had all the love he could have wanted from his parents,nice home,plenty of materialistic things never went without,was a perfect mate later on became hooked on heroine and commited suicide...
wheres his education!!!!4 years at uni with myself and a failed business later!!!turned to drugs for help and ended up taking his life...hardly see how he could blame lack of Love.
protection education and moral judgement can only be passed on through love not replaced by materialistic things or lack of attention,looking for a vessel to vent your frustration is not commiting a crime its lack of respect for yourself
As for the drinking thing!!!!!
Makes me laugh when i hear that most europeans Judge the English as being drunken yobs!
so it means i can go out and not spend a penny(unless we go for meals of course)
